What is social media for?

I'm forgetting

Cry Baby

Hi there,

My friend texted me “I need you to get on social media” and I replied it will never happen, followed by laughing emojis. It got me thinking.

Five things to share:

1. Will I ever get back on social media? It comes to me after my walk home from the library, while chopping sweet potatoes, dancing to this and that in my tiny kitchen, that this is the wrong question to ask. The right question to ask, at this point in my journey, with years spent away from social media, is what is social media for? Specifically, if I were to ever get back on social media, what would it be for? What purpose would Instagram, Twitter, Facebook serve in my life? Why bother getting back on social media now? When I'm forgetting what social media is useful for. I consider it anyway.

2. A monthly ritual for tricking myself to spend more time offline: Right before the start of the new month, I go over the upcoming four weeks and I try to schedule 1-2 plans for each week; the theatre, trying new bars/restaurants, visiting museums, a live show, visiting a friend, book club, meetup events, etc. I look at the films currently playing, the museum schedules, go over my meetup groups’ events, and even Google ‘things to do [city] [month] .’ The internet is an excellent place for finding things to do in the city. I buy tickets in advance, commit to time and place with people, and even plan the cute outfits I’m going to wear so I don’t chicken out last minute; “I’m tired,” “I’m sad,” “I’m lonely,” “I don’t have anything to wear,” etc. These plans are independent of things like workout classes, Fridays at the bar, and (tryingggggg to) visit my parents on the weekend. If, in addition to a full time job, 5x fitness classes, chores and errands, 2x double gin and tonic (most) Friday evenings, AND visiting the ‘rents sometime during the weekend, I get to do 1 to 2 social/solo activities each week, I know it’s time well spent; time spent offline.

   (Maybe the real trick was making myself become so bored with the internet that I needed to do something else, exhaust myself somewhere else. And there is a lot of time remaining when you unplug.)

3. A quote I want to share with you:

   “I’m not going to spend what’s left of my life hanging round waiting for it. I’m going to settle for small, random stabs of extreme interestingness – moments of intense awareness of the things I’m about to lose, and of gladness that they exist."

   — Helen Garner (source, which I’m loving recently)

   The simple things, the tiny miracles, the joy that they bring; I love you, life.

4. Master your digital distractions (without a digital detox)

   Unplugging only ignores the hard work of overcoming your distractions.

   (Honesty time: I didn’t read this article— hold on!— because I don’t need to anymore (I did skim!) and I’m rarely on the internet outside of work stuff these days, but I feel you deserve more practical, less whiny, cry-baby content— Sorry, I’m in my late-20’s-discovering-myself era and everything makes me cry, and, and, and Nir Eyal shared it in his newsletter so I trust it’s good. Or at least, it can’t be that bad. In any case I hope you find it good. If not, sooorry? 😬)

5. A question for you: What small, random stabs on extreme interestingness can you settle for?

   And be glad that they exist.

   (Or What is social media for? Or, or what can you find out by paying attention to yourself? Or, maybe, by paying attention to Others? 

   You can learn a lot by asking questions and listening intently— to yourself, to Others, to the Universe.)

That’s all for this week!

Thank you for reading, and share with anyone you think may benefit.

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I found out last week (thanks, Nancy!) Substack automatically switches the ‘Subscribe now’ button I insert here to ‘Pledge Your Support’ once it reaches your inbox. It got me unreasonably irritated: DOES ALL WRITING NEED TO BE COMMODIFIED? /rant 

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Until next time,

Mehret