(quality) time spent alone

being in good company always

instagram vs reality

Hi there,

I don’t tell you anything I don’t tell myself; Stop being a loser.

Five things to share:

1. When I was around 27, I understood, and I understood wholeheartedly a quote I once saw on the internet a few years prior; You don’t get the life you want, you get the life you deserve. And I looked around at my life then and I simply understood, I cackled: I have gotten exactly the life I deserve although I didn’t want any of it. And it was a good life, a beautiful life even— It’s just that, you see, it was a life I chose because I was a loser. Because I didn’t think I could have, or that I could make possible for myself the life I actually wanted, and so I settled for a good life, a beautiful life even, though I wanted nothing to do with it, it nothing to do with me. And to escape the terror of living in the wrong life— Caged, gasping, suffocating— I ran to the internet. And because I didn’t do anything to make the life I really wanted happen, because I was too lazy, scared, comfortably miserable, because all I did was scroll to escape the terror of living the wrong life, but nothing to escape the wrong life itself, I got stuck in the life I deserved: The wrong life. In fact, it doesn’t matter what you say you want— Love— you get exactly what you deserve; random avatars shouting their grievances at you day after day, and that dent on your couch at that particular spot you love to be alone at. You have been warned, by your consciousness. I’m just here to tell you what I told myself; Stop being a loser.

2. A friend once said to me you can be wrong for the times, and whatever, I am right.

   the end of our extremely online era.

3. A quote I want to share with you:

   Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.

   — Kierkegaard

   Oh, you think you are so special with your misery. Cry, baby.

4. Note to self (summer 2022)

   

   (I don’t tell you anything I don’t tell myself)

5. A challenge for you: Stop being a loser. Winning is fun, and your only opponent is You.

P.s. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. What you see(k), as you know, is seeking you. I’m just the messenger— Your truth personified. If you don’t already, you will understand some other time. 

That’s all for this week!

Thank you for reading, and share with anyone you think may benefit.

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Until next time,

Mehret