Let's get personal!

r/thatHappened

🤭

Hi there,

One thing.

When I was in high school, I used to get sent to the principle’s office regularly for wearing inappropriate clothes; Shorts and skirts that made the male teachers uncomfortable, the women seethe— Just kidding! but otherwise I was a good, fairly smart, and engaged student in one of the worst high schools in the city at the time.

This time, the principle was new; new to the chaos, of children that had to grow up too fast, too angry, and so when he pulled out the school agenda to reason with me, that according to the dress code, standing with my hands flat to my thighs, my skirt would have to be past my middle fingers, which the one I was wearing wasn’t, I accepted the challenge.

The adults were rookies to me.

That night, I went home, pulled out a grey men’s shirt I had thrifted, cut it into a crop-top and wrote on it with a sharpie, MADE IN VAGINA. It was inspired by a photo I saw on Tumblr; made in pussy sprawled across a hoodie or a hat. I wore my improvisation the next day with my American Apparel high-wasted pants.

I was sent to the principle’s office immediately.

He said I couldn’t wear that at school. I said, according to the school agenda with the rules, I could. There are no swear words, I reasoned. I’m just expressing myself, I told him.

He sighed, exhausted from the chaos, of unruly children roaming the halls, and told me although we all want to express ourselves, to be ourselves, that in order to function in society, to stay out of trouble, we have to conform, we have to fit in, and of course, although I wasn’t breaking any rules, I couldn’t fit in with a t-shirt that said MADE IN VAGINA.

Fine.

I have made my point, and honestly I pitied him, so it was easy to let him have it. I wore the shirt inside out for the rest of the day.

And I was beginning to think maybe he was right, and although the adults bored me, I thought maybe he had a point. And maybe if I didn’t want to get stuck in the chaos— Unruly child turned unruly adult— I should try to conform, to fit in. I was considering it seriously: I promise, Mom.

But a few weeks later, in an auditorium full of students, teachers, and other school staff for our end-of-school-year assembly, the same principle got on stage and said into the microphone, passionately, that although the world wants to box us in, make us conform and fit in, we should always strive to be ourselves, authentic, original…

And in the dark auditorium looking out into a sea of heads was a 17-year-old girl smirking at the man standing on the podium with the spotlight on him: She was elated to finally get the confirmation for an inkling she hasn’t been able to shake off her entire life— That the adults were full of shit. Not worth listening to, unless she liked being lied to, least she wanted to end up like the adult on stage with the spotlight on; believing one thing, saying another.

She pitied him.

And at 17, Mehret was reborn.

And recently, when she says over the phone, slightly exacerbated after ten years of constantly cheering me on, that I’m not the 17-year-old girl stuck in Jungle*, in the chaos, I smirk into the phone because although it is nice to be reminded I am no longer there, I am still the 17-year-old-girl-turned-woman who refuses to be told how to live her life; refuses to fit in, to conform.

It’s just that now instead of writing MADE IN VAGINA on thrifted shirts to make a point, to mock the adults, I write time spent offline to make a point, to mock Silicon Valley. I don’t know about you but I don’t need social media; I haven’t needed it since 2017. In fact, I never needed it, but whatever.

I don’t need a smartphone.

I don’t need to follow the news.

I don’t need Spotify.

I don’t need LinkedIn.

I don’t need Amazon.

I don’t need Silicon Valley apps to live my life.

I don’t need the digital slop to fit in, to conform.

In fact, the principle did tell the truth, although he didn’t believe it himself, on that podium on that day in 2012 with the spotlight on him: I don’t need to box myself in, to fit in, to conform.

Unruly child turned unruly adult.

In my own way.

Elated.

To borrow wise words from Aubrey Drake— YEAH YEAH WE KNOW**— You can be whoever you want/ Even yourself.

I know you understand.

♡

Until next time,

Mehret

*Jungle is a neighbourhood in Toronto, Canada

**